I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize