i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
