ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.