Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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