im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Did I show you my penis last night?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
