I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
