Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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