Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
