my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
