We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
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i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
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There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
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