5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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