Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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