I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
