I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
