I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
