I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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