I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
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