My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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