What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
