if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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