i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
