that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
