Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Randomize