are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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