I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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