I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
