is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
