some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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