He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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