You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
high people should be assigned attendants
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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