yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
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