If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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