Will you blow on my dice?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
