sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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