He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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