I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
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Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
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Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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