I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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