What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
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you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
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In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize