well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
