Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Randomize
