I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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