i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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