I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
