I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
