Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
