nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
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