Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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