K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
