What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Randomize
