Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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