i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
