Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
no, he came in my armpit
babies were throwing up all over the place
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Randomize
