Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
