it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Randomize
