we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
i think my cat just said my name.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
