dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
