Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
