can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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