He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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