He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Is it penis luge time yet?
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
