We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
