Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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